Why are people judgmental about weddings?

I don't understand people's entitled attitudes about weddings.

I have a very small family, so I went to one wedding as a child (which I don't remember) and have attended two weddings of friends. My attitude when attending was: Wow, I'm so lucky these people like me enough to invite me to their wedding. I'm really happy for them, so I'd like to get them a gift. I can't wait to spend a nice day having fun with them and seeing them so happy.

It seems like so many people out there have the attitude rather of: I can't believe I have to go to this stupid wedding. They better keep me well supplied with food and alcohol and play the exact music I want, if they expect me to buy them an expensive gift.

My question to you, if this is your attitude towards weddings, is: Why go? If you don't care enough about the people to be happy for them on their special day--if you're going to just sulk if they don't fulfill your laundry list of requirements for attending--why would you even bother? You don't even have to buy them a gift; there's no law that says you have to. I'm not trying to be facetious; I really don't understand.

Let's look at another ritualized social interaction for comparison. When you are invited to visit someone's home as a guest, you feel fortunate to have them think highly enough of you to invite you. You might bring a hostess gift as an expression of your gratitude. You have a reasonable expectation that your hosts will see to your needs, keeping you comfortable and entertained, but you also don't expect that they will, say, install a new sound system for you because you like your music loud. You'll probably do activities together that you both enjoy doing, and eat food you both find palatable.

If you don't like the person enough to want to go to their house when you are invited, you just don't go, you make up some excuse.

So why are weddings different? I acknowledge that, at some point in history, weddings meant something else. They were intended to be displays of the wealth of the bride's father, because he was exchanging her for monetary value (either money he paid the groom, or money the groom paid him, depending on your tradition). So you, as an invited guest to this rich guy's daughter's wedding, had an expectation that you would be feted within an inch of your life, because the bride's father wanted to impress you with his wealth.

I hate to break it to you, but that's not the meaning of weddings anymore. Some couples pay for the wedding themselves, or both families contribute. No one is exchanged for monetary value. The couple chooses each other out of love and compatibility, rather than as a business transaction between their fathers. Couples look at their wedding as a once-in-a-lifetime (hopefully) chance to splurge on things they've always wanted, but thought were too decadent. I don't know anyone who looks at their wedding as a chance to show off their wealth to their acquaintances, though I'm sure there are people that still feel that way. Rather, they look at their wedding as a chance to rejoice in their relationship with their friends and family.

If you don't care enough about the couple to be happy for them on their wedding day, why are you even going to their wedding? Just check the 'No' box on the RSVP.